Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Raising Musical Children ( a guest post....)


Today  Pleasantburg is featuring a guest post by Mrs. Marcia Russell. Marcia is the wife of Walter Russell and the mother to five musically talented children whose ages range from 13 to 27. In addition, she is a new grandmother! She is a home school mom as well as a math teacher and tutor.  She has been blessed with a musical family, but when she started on her musical journey with her children, that was not her goal. Today she will share about her journey in raising musical children. Enjoy!

It all started at a pre-school soccer game.  I had begun to home school my first child, and I felt strongly that I should look for some kind of group activity for him.  Home schooling was just about unheard of at that time, and I had a lot of people looking skeptically over my shoulder.  So we signed up for soccer.  Before the season was half over, I realized that this was not the success I had hoped for.  Matthew didn’t seem to understand the game much less seem interested in it.  On top of that, he appeared to be hopelessly uncoordinated.  I am not sure he ever touched the ball.  I began to investigate other extra-curricular activities.

I had read an article about the Suzuki Method of musical training.  This method held to the “mother tongue” philosophy that every child can learn to play a musical instrument just as every child learns to speak the language of his mother.  With the motto, “every child can,” I felt we couldn’t fail.  We bought a tiny 1/8 size violin and a L.P. recording and began attending one private lesson and one group lesson each week.

I attended the lessons with Matthew.  I loved being on his side and learning along with him.  My job was to help him practice every day and to play the recording for him.  Step by tiny step, he began to progress, and I began to relax and really enjoy this aspect of parenting.

When the next child, Thomas, turned 4, I began to think about which instrument he would play.  I decided that siblings close in age should not play the same instrument.  I did not want competition to be the hallmark of our family life.  We chose piano for Thomas, and later he chose organ.  Not only was Thomas the favorite accompanist of his brothers and sister, he was a church organist for various churches throughout high school and college, and recently graduated with a Master’s Degree in Organ Performance from Yale University.

You might be thinking, “Wait a minute!  You chose whether your children would play an instrument and which instrument they would play!?”  That is right.  My children at age four or five had little say in the matter.  They also had little say in whether they would learn to read, learn to swim, or learn to ride a bike.  We decided all of these things for them. 

I found that our children will often delight in the things that delight us.  I love classical music, and I used to play recordings of great masterpieces while the children played or worked on math problems.  We listened to music in the car and while falling sleep.
Once while in an old timey five and dime store, my 8-year old son and 5-year old daughter asked if they could go and explore the toy aisle while I collected the things I needed.  They skipped off while I took the baby in the other direction.  A  while later I began to look for them, but they were not on the toy aisle.  I found them instead near a relaxation display of wind chimes and candles.  A CD was playing music that they were very familiar with.  It happened to be one of my favorites, and they remembered not only hearing it, but having to remain in the car just to hear the end of it on more than one occasion.  They stood with rapt attention oblivious to the fact that an amused small crowd had gathered behind them.  Embarrassed, I tapped my son’s shoulder to get him to move along.  He turned to me with a smile and whispered, “Mom, Mendelssohn!”  As I ushered them down the aisle and out of the way, an older gentleman patted me on the back and said, “You’re doing a good job, Mom.”

When it came time to choose an instrument for Seth, our third child, we chose cello.  A friend called to ask if I was interested in a Suzuki cello class for young beginners that was starting up in our town.  Seth, now age 21, has studied cello since age four.  His love for the instrument and his teacher continued to grow throughout his childhood.  After achieving the position of Principal Cellist in his youth orchestra and All State orchestra as well as winning concerto competitions, he has gone on to study cello performance at the Eastman School of Music in Rochester, NY.  His teacher, well past retirement age, is still teaching children.  Her love for the cello and for these children is unmistakable.

I can not stress enough the blessing of talented, passionate, and Godly teachers.  I can think of one couple in particular who had a profound influence on my children.  At age five Thomas the pianist started taking lessons from the wife of the music director at our church.  This wonderful young woman loved the Lord, music, and Thomas.    Not only that, her husband taught Thomas voice lessons and developed a Boy Choir in which three of my boys participated.  The motto of the choir was, “Be the best boy you can be.”  My boys watched this man set an standard of excellence in everything he did, and they followed.  My advice to parents seeking music teachers is to look for passionate professionals who do what they do not just to earn a living, but because they love their students and love the Lord.

There have been a few bumps in our musical journey.  Just as not every T-ball player will play Major League Baseball, not every child who takes music lessons will choose it as his vocation.  We knew this to be the case with our daughter, Faith.  After taking eight years of piano lessons, she asked to switch to flute.  We agreed.  She then took it upon herself to try to reach or surpass many of the benchmarks two of her brothers had achieved.  By the end of the ninth grade she had earned a position in the top level youth orchestra, scored high on the A.P. Music Theory exam, and competed nationally at a music competition in Colorado.  But what she was really passionate about was athletics.  When a leader in her musical world told her that she must choose between music and athletics, she chose athletics and didn’t look back.  The truth is that she had burned out, and I should have done more to prevent that.  But I still hear her playing Chopin on the piano or a Mozart flute concerto from time to time.  The skills she learned will never be taken from her.

The youngest, Ethan, plays the cello and studies with the same wonderful teacher Seth had.  When you find a good teacher, stick with that teacher.  His older brother Seth is his mentor.  Ethan loves basketball more than music, perhaps, but he continues to practice and progress and learn. Like his siblings, he has been privileged to use his talents in worship services at our church.  He enjoys playing with his siblings just for fun or on special occasions.  His home school orchestra has played at children’s homes, retirement homes, and at the airport for Honor Flights for WWII veterans.  Ministry to others is a very important benefit of having a musical family.

So whatever happened to that awkward soccer player turned violinist?  Matthew continued to play the violin throughout high school.  He played in a youth orchestra, made the All State orchestra, and wowed his teachers and classmates at Senior Night when he and Thomas played a very flashy piece.  And then he set his violin aside.  Today he is a Captain in the U.S. Army and an Army Ranger who enjoys running marathons and doing 50 mile trail runs in his spare time.  Matthew credits his musical training with teaching him that daunting goals can be reached with steady practice, one small step at a time.

The benefits of musical training are many, but one of my favorites is hard to describe.  Sometimes music is a beautiful way to communicate deeply felt emotions when words just won’t suffice.  Thomas and his violin-playing bride of one year were getting ready to move to New Haven.  Seth would soon be returning to school far away in New York.  Matthew was home on a two week leave from deployment in Iraq.  None of us knew when the next time would be for us all to be together.  Thomas and his wife Julie had worked hard on a hymn arrangement for the Russell family to play as an offertory at church on our last evening together.  Thomas emailed the parts, and everyone practiced.  That night they played from their hearts, communicating in a very beautiful way with each other, with the congregation, and with the Lord.  The hymn:  “It Is Well With My Soul.”

Soli Deo Gloria

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