Pleasantburg: All is Well ( ...but I haven't had much time to blog !)

 It is true! Pleasantburg Blog has not been abandoned!  Thanks for all concern and inquiries about the lack of regular posts recently. Life is just quite full at the moment and my brain has lacked the necessary space for quality writing.  I am realizing that lack of brain space seems to come with multiple teenagers in the home, especially during the "approaching graduation" phase.  So many decisions to make, so many things to explore, so many places to visit and research, so much to pray about! This is the first of several upcoming years like this for our family, so pray for us :). And with young ones in the mix as well, the task of making sure all are attended to and loved on is often all-consuming.  Each morning I come to the Lord and asked to be filled up, and during the day I pour it all out.  Not a bad way to live, not at all :). Hopefully the summer will provide more time to share  posts with you on a regular basis ( I do miss the chance to think complete thoughts on a single topic...blogging is so good for that!). In the mean time, feel free to subscribe via email or RSS feed so that you can be notified when I do manage to put up a post :). 

 Here is a song that has been running in my mind during these busy days, reminding me of why I do what I do and why I must make the choices I do. It's old, and I've probably posted it before because it is one of my "life songs", but I hope it will encourage you as you work on your legacy in the midst of your daily life! 

A Pleasant Quote: Keeping the World Sweet and Beautiful

  A friend sent me this quote several years ago while we were caring for a rather rough (but also endearing...) young man whose single parent was in the hospital with cancer.  It speaks vividly to mothers of boys, but also gives a picture of true femininity for our daughters and ourselves.  Good women of nerve, courage, and patience who make the world a kinder, more beautiful place...yes, that it just what I pray for all of us and for the young women in our care!

"It is the sisters and wives and mothers, you know, Caddie, who keep the world sweet and beautiful. What a rough world it would be if there were only men and boys in it, doing things in their rough way! A woman's task is to teach them gentleness and courtesy and love and kindness. It's a big task, too, Caddie - harder than cutting trees or building mills or damming rivers. It takes nerve and courage and patience, but good women have those things. They have them just as much as the men who build bridges and carve roads through the wilderness. A woman's work is something fine and noble to grow up to, and it is just as important as a man's. But no man could ever do it so well. I don't want you to be the silly, affected person with fine clothes and manners, whom folks sometimes call a lady. No, that is not what I want for you, my little girl. I want you to be a woman with a wise and understanding heart, healthy in body and honest in mind."

~from Caddy Woodlawn

From Duty to Joy

...not our clothes line... we don't have any adorable bunnies in our area, but isn't he cute!

One of the best things that about living in an older home is that things are (as a rule)  family size and built to last.  The dining room?  Large enough for a crowd. The bath tub?  Still in great shape, and I bet a young mom could bathe at least four small children at a time! The bedrooms?  Designed to house more than one child. The clothesline?  Ah.... steel poles, 45 feet apart, and four wonderful rows of clothes drying goodness. I love it.

I didn't start out loving the idea of hanging out our wash to dry, but with a vintage clothes line beckoning to me, I felt I didn't have a choice. It was something I felt was my duty...saving our family money and using what the Lord has placed right there in our back yard to meet our needs. But now, hanging out the wash is one of the best parts of my day.  It is the semicolon between history and math...a pause between two related sections of my day. It is an import break in ideas that causes the latter subject to begin with a peaceful lowercase letter. It is a bit of fresh air in the middle of the morning, and a time for the little boy of the house to run outside and  help mom by carrying out the empty basket and handing her the clothes pins. In the afternoon there is another load to go out on the line....an opportunity to listen to the children enjoying their time outside without hovering over them, and the chance to see if the red-tailed hawk will be back. It is time for me to realize that my small amount of time and energy, combined with God's sunshine, are enabling our clothes to dry free of charge, while others are paying their machines to do this work for them. And later in the evening, with the last load in hand, it is a time for me to go out into the dusk alone. I often jokingly sing, " I Go to the Clothesline Alone" (to the tune of  " I Go to The Garden Alone"), because don't we moms cherish those few moments of alone time when the Lord gives them to us!

I once heard a home school mom say that she punctuated her day with her own little "happiness islands".  It sounded a little fruity to me at the time, and it still does.  I don't want to be running off doing my own thing in the midst of the day, focusing on my happiness when I should be focusing on the Lord and on my family. But I do need some semi colons in the midst of my daily paragraphs. Just a "slow" task now and then, preferably one that takes me outdoors and gives me time with an individual child or alone.  The Lord is good to turn our duties into joys!

Miss Messy Learns to be Tidy: Room Bucks and the Family Thrift Store Explained

It has been my experience that girls generally will mature into wanting a tidy room.  When they are little we try to help them by establishing a clean-up routine, be it daily or weekly, but eventually they start taking the initiative to keep thing tidy without mom having to tell them. Appreciation for beauty and discipline creeps in with age, and watching it happen is wonderful time, indeed!  In our house this has usually started to happen around age twelve and until then, well, I just wait and train as best I can :)....and sometimes I am better at it than others!

 This being said, our youngest daughter spent the summer having huge issues with clothing all over the bedroom floor. ( You may remember that she is my child who is forever dressing up like historical figures!). I tried limiting her clothing options, but then we ended up with too few clothes for our laundry routine, and good clothes that were stained because she didn't have a good supply of play clothes. One day, after reading a wonderful post by Kelly at Generation Cedar, I came up with the idea of Room Bucks. Kelly had the great idea of limiting her children's clothing, but putting the extra clothing in a "Family Thrift Store" where the children could buy extra items as they needed them. ( It turned out she was having the exact same issues we were having with limiting clothing...I love that about blogs! Somewhere out there is another mom with your problem! Anyway...) Our youngest children really don't regularly have money of their own, so I decided to give her the chance to earn one "room buck" ( play money) during random, daily room inspections. If clothing was put away properly, she would earn one buck. I also reserved the right to charge her a room buck if "the maid" had to come in and take care of a mess before guests arrived ( or for some other reason). I limited her to just a  few outfits, but gave her the chance to "buy" her items back from the Family Thrift Store for 5 room bucks each.  Dress up clothes could be rented for 1 room buck each, which would be returned to her once I saw that they clothes were put back properly.

The results have been amazing. She has enough motivation to put things away properly and is gradually getting back some of her clothes as her self-discipline increases. I no longer need to nag or feel exasperated over the mess. Love that! I see that she is beginning to grasp the concepts of both simplicity and stewardship, as Kelly talked abut in her post. I really love that! How do you help your children learn to clean up after themselves? Do you have ideas to share on teaching simplicity and stewardship? How has another mom inspired you recently?

Beautiful Mornings

a lovely breakfast while on vacation....

I have a million fond memories of the "summer adventure" I took with my older girls this summer.  Some of the most pleasurable times were spent eating breakfast outdoors in our hostess' back yard. There is something "exceedingly fitting and right" about starting a new day out in God's creation, watching little birds and squirrels and seeing the dew on the grass.  Our hostess had a wonderful little table set each morning  with a variety of simple foods....fruit salad, homemade jams, toast, bacon, muffins. Nothing fancy, but what a lovely way to ease into the day.

This summer I made a conscious effort to bring a little more beauty into our breakfast at home, at least a few times a week.  In my eyes, a bagel on a pretty glass plate is a bit more satisfying than a bagel on an ordinary plate. Waffles eaten the porch table with a dainty bouquet of garden herbs as a centerpiece are just a bit more memorable that  waffles eaten at the regular dining table. There is just something about beauty first thing in the morning. And then...enter the school year. We have to be up and going at an early hour, starting  the laundry and the school work, and I need to be up even earlier to have my cherished moments of Bible reading and prayer alone.  There is just not a lot of time for fussing with pretty table settings and the like. The day must be begun so we can get it all done! This is real life with several children. Don't get me wrong, having a house full of people to nurture and care for is my dream life and I wouldn't change it for anything...even for another hour of sleep in the morning!  It is lovely and invigorating in its own right, but not leisurely :).

In spite of the complications, I am still finding that some occasional extra effort in the department of loveliness goes a long way in starting the school/work day with a mindset of  "beauty in the midst of business". It really takes no more time to pull out a pretty tea cup than it takes to pull out a coffee mug. (And taking a moment or two to hand wash a tea cup later in the morning  provides a relaxing, yet productive, "slow moment" while a student is completing a math drill!) The little extra additions of beauty to our morning reminds us and our loved ones that it is possible move beyond mere survival, even in busy circumstances.

Take a little extra time to think about what causes you to gracefully begin your day. Maybe it is not breakfast, or pretty dishes and flowers for you.  Perhaps it is as easy as a walk out to feed and pet the dogs, or taking the time to write a poem or watch the birds. And there is certainly no more beautiful way to start the day than joyfully feeding and snuggling the precious babies God places in your care. Bible reading/prayer time is a given and by far the most important thing. Nothing can replace or mimic time with the Lord.  A mom with a quiet spirit and a heart set on the Lord will adorn the breakfast table like nothing else!  Whatever it is for you in your season of life, delight in those morning moments and allow them to set a tone of beauty for your day ahead.

Creating a Presidential Election Notebook

Our family loves a presidential election year.  We are not under the impression that politics is the answer to everything in our society...far from it.  However, we can celebrate our country's political process and the freedom we have to vote. Our children have always accompanied us to the polls to vote. They have also been allowed to stay up late on Election Day for an special party.  We print out maps and give them red and blue crayons so they can color in the states as the results are announced.  Snacks are in abundance and sleeping bags are spread out on the living room floor for those who drift off early.  One year we were really brave and joined with another family for the evening...lots of fun memories.

As our children have grown older we have sought to  involve them in the election process in other ways.  There is a little more talk of politics at the dinner table,and a little more watching of the news and reading news articles together. One of our teenagers even went to one candidate's local headquarters during the last presidential election and watched his grandmother make phone calls. This year we are trying something new... keeping a family Presidential Election Notebook. I was inspired to do this by my husband's grandmother, who has saved news clippings on each presidential election for several decades. It is so much fun to look through her notebook. I thought it would be even more fun for the children to one day be able to look back at their own reflections and observations on the election process. So, creating our own notebook is one thing we are "aiming to do" over the next year.

  We began taking notes during the first televised debate. We have already crossed out candidates and added others as the weeks have progressed. (We each have our own predictions about who will be remaining at the end of the candidate selection process.)  I plan on having one section of the notebook categorized by issues, one section categorized by candidates, one section of debate notes/winners, and a final section of news articles. Because we have such a wide age range in our children ( almost 17 years down to 4 years of age), different family members are responsible for different tasks. Mom and Dad will take notes of things to discuss with the children later. ( I must admit that being able to "pause" live TV would be very handy during debates!) Our eight year old will copy down each candidate's home town, family information, current position, and other general information as it pops up on the TV screen during the debate. The middle and high school students will each be assigned specific issues and will record notes on each candidate's view as a topic is discussed.  Older students will also take general debate notes: the questions asked, who was asking the questions, general impressions on candidate readiness/level of articulation, potential bias, and the like.  As we get deeper into the election, I plan to have them gather current events articles and write about the their relevance to the election. There will probably also be papers comparing and contrasting candidates and persuasive papers/speeches on why a particular candidate is the best choice.

 So far our debate evenings have been a fun, family time together...almost like a long awaited football game for something . Yes, snacks are provided, and there is the added bonus of getting to stay up late on a school night, but the best part has been the conversations we have had. Teenagers have opinions and they love to share them. What a great time to hear their thoughts and ask them challenging questions. Our two older children have had debate and logic classes and delight in critiquing ( and complimenting!) the "professionals."  An election year provides parents with so many opportunities to discuss values and ideals with their children and teach them to think critically about issues. Take advantage of this time!  You can be part of raising up the next generation to be "thinkers" instead of those who merely react to circumstances or those who go with the popular flow of thought.  It may be impolite to discuss politics at the beauty shop, but discussing these matters in your living room is one fantastic way to spend an evening with the family.





This post is linked to Growing Home!

Nurturing Creativity in Children: Part 3

Today is the final post on Nurturing Creativity in Children. I have enjoyed visiting this topic and thank you for all the feedback . If you missed Part 1 or Part 2, be sure to click here and here to read the other posts. Continuing on.....

* Let your children see you being creative in everyday life. There is no substitute for leading your children by example. Fortunately for moms, motherhood provides a vast and varied smorgasbord of creative opportunities. Making up games while riding in the car, telling bedtime stories, making meals out of whatever you have on hand, decorating your home, scrap booking, blogging, photography...the list could go on and on.  Involve them in your own projects as their age and attention span allows, or give them their own special project to work on alongside you. As your children see you delighting in creative moments they will naturally be drawn to the creative process.

* Provide a variety of quality, imaginative literature. Supply toys that make children "work" for their  play.   In a recent article on creativity, Andrew Pudewa  provided a great quote by Albert Einstein: " If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales.  If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales." I love that!  The intelligence he is talking about here surely is of the "thinking outside of the box" variety. Whether you choose fairy tales or not, engaging and imaginative literature will get your child's creative thoughts going, leading to active play time. As far as toys, go for the items that are "open-ended" ( the child does the work, not the toy), can be used for storytelling play, and are able to be used in a variety of ways. One of the favorite toys at our home is Connectegons.  These little disks have been used to build all kinds of creative structures ( their intended purpose), but also as toy money, lilly pads for small toy frogs, baby doll food, and roads for cars.They are great math manipulatives as well ! Building toys, play dough, dress up clothes, a variety of paints and art supplies, dolls, cardboard boxes and tubes, and so on are the types of toys that will encourage imaginative play rather than merely providing passive entertainment. Limiting the number of toys available at a given time also develops creativity. They will learn to use and have fun with what they have!

* Encourage your children to serve others with their creative gifts.  One motto we are currently working to instill in our children ( and ourselves!) is " Non Nobis Solum"...Not for Us Alone. This applies to creativity just like it does to so many other areas of life. Whatever we have was given to us for God's glory and to serve Him.  Elderly neighbors will enjoy having a child's painting to hang on their refrigerator, a younger child will be pleased to have an older sibling read a freshly written story to them, an expectant mother will be delighted to drop her young children by your house for an afternoon of puppet shows ( or come to stay for a time of encouragement with another mom). Teach your children not to hoard and hide the gifts and experiences the Lord has given them, but to actively look for ways to use them to bless others. As Michael Card stated so well in an interview printed in the February 2011 issue of Tabletalk magazine, " Jesus always points away from Himself and His gifts and thereby wins praise for the Father. We are not our gifts. We are called to give more.  Like Jesus, we are called to give ourselves. That is the real purpose behind our gifts; they are vehicles for giving the self."

Many blessing to each of you as you nurture those wonderful, creative little ones the Lord has placed in your care. If you are interested in buying Connectegons for your children, see the link below!

Nurturing Creativity in Children: Part 2

Today I am going to continue discussing how to nurture creativity in our children.  I am thrilled you are visiting today! Hop on over here to read Part 1, and here to read Part 3!

* Focus on the purpose behind the mess. Almost all creative endeavors involve some degree of mess, noise, or both! For some moms, this is a real challenge :).  To further complicate things, some projects are ongoing and need to be left out during completion. Take a deep breath, do what you can to confine and assign creative work spaces, but remind yourself of what is being accomplished in the mess. Even if there is no real "end project" in sight, there is a valuable process going on as your child creates. After all, there is a huge difference between your child leaving their dirty socks in the middle of their floor ( laziness) and your child needing to dump out the bucket of Lego bricks so they can see what parts they have available (creativity). The time for cleaning up will arrive eventually, but to paraphrase my favorite home designer Alexandra Stoddard's comment about her daughter's room, What creative child wouldn't have a messy room!?

*Encourage initiative, allowing success and failure to occur naturally.  If your child has an idea, let them run with it! I am reading a fantastic book by Kurt Timmermeister entitle Growing a Farmer: How I Learned to Live Off the Land. When speaking of purchasing his farm he says, " I bought this land and transformed it because no one said that I couldn't." I love this!  So much could be accomplished in this world if people would stop discouraging others from trying new and challenging things! And it starts with allowing our children to test out their ideas and plans. One of the most creative individuals I know was allowed to totally transform her backyard to her liking with construction and engineering projects.  Her birthday gifts were things like ropes, pulleys, and duck tape. Figuring out what to do with them was up to her!  She has also sewn elaborate costumes, made her own clothing, and produced films of her pets. When she has an idea there is no one to stop her! As a result, she has developed a wide variety of skills and has full confidence in expressing her creative gifts. Sometimes things don't work out quite the way she had hoped, but this is part of the creative process ( not to mention part of life in general!).  Don't try to block failure as your child attempts new things. I have one child who has to pay for her own basketball fees and she loves to come up with creative ways to earn money. Some of her ideas have worked very well and some have flopped. Having the freedom to try  her ideas had developed  confidence and has actually reduced her fear of failing. She's learned that some of her ideas are great ideas and, when an idea hasn't worked out,she's learned that it is not the end of the world. She remains always ready to try something new! Preserving the fearless desire to try something new is a huge part of nurturing creativity in children.

*Don't insist that your child always do things the way you do them. This judgement call can be a bit tricky because there are times when technique totally matters. For example, no one wants to have to re-learn the correct hand position when learning to play the piano. ( Believe me... I speak for experience!).  However,  there is great value in letting a child figure out the the best way to approach a problem or project.  This kind of creative thinking will give them both experience and confidence that will serve them well as adults.  It teaches them to consider their options, think about their strengths, and manage their time. Some individuals just naturally will do things in a unique way. One of the most skilled knitters I know knits in a really wacky way.  It is not at all how it looks on the how-to-knit videos, but it works for her and her sweaters are breath taking. One of my children unloads the dishwasher in a way that makes no sense to me, but the job still gets done.  I have also found that children who feel free to try out their own ideas/do tasks in their own way are also the ones who feel most free in asking for the " how-to" advice of others.  Funny how that happens, but it is true!

Well, be looking for the third and final part of this series later this week!   Be sure to check out my current ( and wonderful) read, Growing a Farmer, on the Amazon link below, as well as a wonderful book by designer Alexandra Stoddard! Thanks for stopping by Pleasantburg!
This post is linked to Far Above Rubies and Growing Home: Teach Me Tuesdays.

Nurturing Creativity in Children: Part 1

I am going to spend a few days discussing  what parents can do to nurture creativity in their children.  I think we are all more or less "born with" our own unique amount and variety of creative gifts. However, it is obvious that children are much more creative than the average adult. Children have more leisure time and more opportunities for creative moments. Children also have more courage in expressing their creativity and place more emphasis on the process, as opposed to focusing merely on the end product. As parents, we need to utilize this valuable stage in our children's lives. The atmosphere in our homes can either encourage children to continue in life-long creativity, or it can cause them to neglect the expression of their unique gifts and  perspectives as they become older. Over the next few posts, I hope to provide you with some tips that will enable you to draw out and encourage your children to thrive as they think and express themselves in creative ways. Let's get started!

*Provide children with abundant down-time.  When I was in high school I read David Elkind's book, book The Hurried Child for an education class. Even at the tender age of 17, with my very limited experience with children, I could see that his words were true.  Children cannot flourish when they are hurried to grow-up quickly, or when they are hurried from place to place throughout the day.  If children are going to develop their creative gifts they need leisure time. Not time-in-front-of-a-screen leisure time, but hours on a back yard swing or unstructured time in the playroom to putter around...thinking and playing time! My youngest daughter spends her free time in the afternoon dressing up like historical figures. Breakfast conversation often centers around who she is going to pretend to be today.  Harriet Tubman, Annie Oakley,Corrie Ten Boon, an immigrant from Russia, an Amish girl, and many more, have been researched on the Internet or in books with mom at the start of her play time. Closets are raided, dress up boxes are emptied, opinions are gathered, and then...the historical figure appears and heads off to the backyard for her adventures. I never would have thought to have her do this. It was the product of her having time alone and needing to figure out what to do with herself. In developing our children's creativity, we are teaching them to be boredom-busters!

This type of down-time is not something that creative people out-grow. Creative moms can become instantly energized after a few creative moments, either alone or with their children. And the gift of time to explore, think, and develop creative skills is of great value to our teenagers as they transition into adulthood. My oldest son, who spend many childhood hours creating elaborate stories to "play out" with Legos, unwinds from a long day by puttering around with his filming equipment, or building a new kind of tripod he read about in the Internet. My teenage daughter Peace developed her love for photography by spending time  (hours and hours this summer!) wandering around our backyard, photographing things I had never even noticed. It may have looked like she was wasting her time and being quite unproductive, but she was learning, experimenting, and creating. She was learning how to be busy and content at home, and how to bring joy to others by sharing her gifts. This creative process would never have occurred if we had been spending our afternoons running around to various activities and lessons. Whatever your children's age, do not neglect the importance of down time!

*Arts, not crafts. As I mentioned above, a creative mom can gain a great amount of energy from doing creative projects alongside her children. I love getting out the easel and painting with my younger children.  I am in no way a painter, but there is something about all those lovely colors and a preschooler's excitement that gives me a whole new perspective on my day.  However, as we seek creative projects to do with our children, a distinction must be made between an art and a craft. An art is open ended, a "here are your supplies, see what you can do" sort of thing.  Even if you are doing something like a sewing project that has a pattern, let them choose the fabric combinations, the buttons the thread colors, the type of stitch...this is the creative part of the project. Step-by-step projects that produce identical results may have their value, but they do not develop creativity.

More to come...have a great day being creative with you family!
Join me at the Hearts 4 Home Link-up and Ramblings of a Christian Mom Thursday(Almost Friday!) Blog Hop!!
Check out the Amazon links below to Elkind's book, as well as the easel and paints we use in our family!

Surviving or Thriving? Back to School Reminders for Moms...Part 3

Welcome to Part 3 of the Surviving or Thriving series!   Today I am covering three of my favorite reminders : Tie Some Heartstrings, Keep it Light, and Pray! 

Tie Some Heartstrings. Years ago I received email reminders throughout the day from Kim of Large Family Logistics. In addition to reminding me to do things like clean up the back yard, spend 15 minutes of phonics time with the littleone, and organize my desk, I was sent a reminder to "Tie Some Heartstrings". I love the imagery of that phrase. Our children, our husband, and even our friends and neighbors, need to know how much we love them.  They need verbal and tangible reminders of our affection for them.  Study your loved ones and learn how to minister to their hearts with encouraging words and deeds.I once read an article stating that nurses, teachers and housewives often suffer from burnout because the consuming and endless nature of their tasks end up outweighing the time they spend on relationships with those they serve.We cannot let this happen in our homes! Yes, your work is endless...but, in a way, that leaves you plenty of time to prioritize showing love to those in our care.  You may never really get caught up anyway :)...and even if you did would it truly be all that fulfilling? Focus on what is truly important and show an abundance of love to those around you!

Keep it Light. Last fall a friend and I were at a ladies' retreat with our teenage daughters.  Late in the evening someone said something quite funny and my friend and I began laughing hysterically. Very soon we noticed our teenagers staring at us with shocked expressions.Laughing that hard is not something we do everyday! Most of the things we deal with day in and day out are not funny. However, this is no excuse for letting a heavy atmosphere creep into our homes. I find that one of the best ways to lighten the mood in the home is to do something unexpected. In our house, we occasionally will rap. Yup. God has placed us in the city and we can hardly open the door without hearing someone's car booming out rap music ( thankfully we usually cannot understand the words!).This often leaves me internally screaming, "ARGHHHH!!!! Melody? Harmony? Where are thou!?" So we, world's most unlikely rappers, overcome our circumstances by creating corny, wholesome numbers of our own. I "rap" phone messages to my beloved a few times a week. When I feel like I might start yelling about a messy room, I... conservative, quiet little introvert that I am...will rap the urgent request to "Let the Tidying Begin!". The big kids roll their eyes, but they are smiling, and the little kids are laughing. The pleasant mood of the home is preserved.  I am sure you have your own (much more dignified and distinguished) way of keeping the mood light, but do not underestimate the power of a smiling, laughing, unpredictable mother!

Pray.  Cast all your burden upon the Lord, for he cares for you ( I Peter 5:7).   But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.( James 1:5). 

Not much more to be said than that!  We have a Lord who cares for our every need and is ready to give us the wisdom we need for each and every situation during the upcoming school year. Don't be afraid to leave the school area for a moment or two  (take the little one with you if necessary) and go pray for a few minutes in your room.I do this often, and the funny thing is that my children seem to think I am in my room eating M&Ms :).  I like to kneel, not because there is anything magical about a particular posture while praying, but just because it reminds me of my dependence on the Lord and that if I humble myself He will lift me up.  And He does! Go to Him often with your cares and don't try to manage them alone!

My prayer is that each one of you will have a most blessed school year ahead! 

Surviving or Thriving? Back to School Reminders for Moms...Part 2

Today I am going to continue my series on Back to School Reminders for Moms.  Each day, in the middle of all the situations where the Lord has placed us, we have the chance to thrive. However, if we do not make careful choices when it comes to our attitudes, and if we do not fix our eyes on the Lord and His strength, we will find ourselves merely surviving in midst of our day to day responsibilities. As I said in Part 1, these posts fall under the category "Preaching to Myself". When I relate a personal example I am not somehow suggesting that I have arrived in these areas. I am merely remembering God's faithfulness in the past and providing my experiences as an encouragement to you as you consider your school year ahead! Let's get started with Part 2!   

Give Your Limitations to the Lord. All of us face situations that cause us to feel limited. Seasons of poor health, financial difficulties, inadequacies in a particular subject matter, a baby in the hospital, pregnancy complications, general lack of outside support, cramped living conditions...these are just a few of the difficulties our family has faced in our thirteen years of home schooling. And do you know what? With each situation the Lord has been faithful and shown His power in our weakness! Give your limitations to the Lord and gather up your faith in his goodness and love for you...He will provide! Perhaps he will provide a way out ( like an awesome Algebra 2 teacher!), or maybe he will provide a way through ( like the time he caused our favorite babysitter to be on paid leave from her nanny position just as I was trying to juggle parenting a hospitalized preemie and caring for 4 children at home...did I mention she was a certified teacher and helped with their schooling as well as general child care? Only God could come up with such timing!).  Maybe the Lord will sustain you in a supernatural way that causes others to see you in your trial and give glory to Him. Regardless, His power is made perfect in weakness ( II Cor. 12:9) and you can trust Him as you face difficulties.

Don't Be Afraid to Find What Works for Your Family.  I spent several of my early homeschooling years trying to imitate the methods of a friend that  I greatly admired. I gradually realized that not only were our children very different , but my friend and I were very different, too. In fact, I really think our "different-ness" in personality is what gave us such a rich friendship.  However, when it came to schooling choices she could  just read the scripted math lesson and her children understood perfectly, and I needed to cut up apples and draw diagrams...for my students to learn,as well as to keep myself from falling asleep with boredom :).  God gave your children to you...he picked you for them! When it comes to schooling choices and decisions related to parenting ( extra-curricular involvement, bedtimes, daily routines and so on), be inspired by those around you , but be yourself and don't be afraid to be unique in your approach! 

In addition, do not neglect the option to change things for a season in order to gather yourself and pray through your choices.  Our family did this in the two years following the birth of our preemie.  In a year's time we had a pregnancy with bed rest, a preemie who was in the hospital for several months, a baby who didn't sleep/had therapy appointments every week/breathing treatments every few hours/frequent ER visits, and a job change/out-of-state move. After much prayer, we enrolled our oldest two children in Classical Conversations for 7th and 8th grade after our move. Co-ops are not my thing (although we loved the CC program overall),  but for that season of "recovery and reorganization" it was just what we all needed.  It didn't last forever. Talk with your husband, seek the Lord, and allow yourself the freedom to make changes if needed!   

Well, it is time to get my day going here... be sure to read Part 1 and Part 3  if your time allows. Have a wonderful time preparing for your school year!  

Surviving or Thriving? Back to School Reminders for Moms...Part 1

"Back to School!!!"  The words bring a range of emotions to the hearts of mothers worldwide. Excitement,  apprehension, a twinge of  sadness...all jumbled together with a million practical concerns.  Regardless of the schooling option they embrace, moms everywhere will be facing new unknowns, new routines, and new challenges as they consider the year ahead. The next few posts will fall under the category of "Preaching to Myself".  This will be my thirteenth year of homeschooling, but each year bring with it a fresh realization that I am going to need the Lord's help...every day, in a serious way... if our family is going to thrive.  Far from becoming more confident in my own skills, each passing year causes me to feel more dependent on Him. He is the only one who can lead, guide, provide, sustain, and grant us all joy in the year ahead. And while I love home schooling, the reminders I will outline are for any mom...working, stay at home, single, home schooling. God can give you the grace to make your home a pleasant place during the busy school days ahead, no matter what your situation!

The "reminders" are no particular order, but I will start with a big one: Keep God's Word in your mind throughout the day.  When things get stressful, when you are not sure how to handle a situation, when you know you are starting to lose proper perspective, when despair is creeping into your mind,when you have a victory, use God's Word to keep your thoughts in the right place. I keep a list of Scriptures posted inside the door of the cabinet where we keep our school supplies.I probably go to that cabinet 40 times during the morning, and each time I see God's love letters to me, encouraging and admonishing me to run the race for His glory and in His strength.  In years past, I kept a list inside my kitchen cabinet door and would run into the kitchen every now and then to refocus. I also keep my Bible open at the school table after our morning family devotions. Having God's promises and reminders of His character at my fingertips when I need them ( and often before I need them!) is invaluable. Other moms keep a Bible open in each room, a Bible propped up my the kitchen sink, or a audio Bible going in some part of the house or in the car. Choose what works for you, but make it easy to encourage yourself with God's Word.  And guess what? Your children will be watching you all the while and noting God's faithfulness to you!


Have a plan to care for your basic physical health. Let's be honest, if your family is like mine, no one is going to remind mom to take her vitamins each day! We need a simple plan to care for our health. Otherwise, even our most basic needs can get lost in our responsibilities. When tempted to let my physical health slide, I always think of the airline stewardess reminding me to put the oxygen mask on myself first, and then on my child. I cannot remind my little one to drink his water if I am dehydrated in a hospital somewhere! My basic list includes drinking enough water, taking vitamins daily, walking several times a week, having healthy/easy to prepare food at home, and getting proper rest. My plan? Vitamins before bed, water throughout the day, walks with an individual child in the evenings ( or around the interior of our home/exercise video/backyard walk with a younger child...see note below), organized shopping/food prep (with teenagers alongside me), and in bed before midnight.  Nothing complicated or expensive, and no real need to be separated from my children ( just in case that is your excuse!) , but so important to identify those needs and  be intentional about keeping care of ourselves.
*A word about exercise: where there is a will there is a way. Pray about it! Years ago I had young children, little support in the way of local friends and relatives, a husband who worked long hours, and no real area to walk outside around our home. I ask the Lord to show me a way I could get the exercise I needed. I began turning on a CD for an hour a day and walking inside our home, around ( and around, and around ,and around) the tiny kitchen-living room-entry way loop. Our children still talk about it! It reduced my stress, improved my sleep, and gave me something very fun to do with my little ones each day.Today I love to pop in a Leslie Sansone Walk at Home video on cold and rainy days when I can't get outdoors.  On nice days when I can't leave the home, I will often briskly walk around our back yard in the afternoon while our little ones play. If I can leave the little ones with daddy, I will  take an older child on a walk around the neighborhood with me so we can have some time alone.  Although there is certainly nothing wrong with belonging to a gym,on't buy into the  idea that you need a gym membership to get the exercise you need! Ask God to show you creative solutions when you hit a roadblock!


Be sure to check back in for Part 2.... and enjoy getting ready for your  school year!

Summer Afternoon

"All in all, it was a never-to-be-forgotten summer — one of those summers which come seldom into any life, but leave a rich heritage of beautiful memories in their going — one of those summers which, in a fortunate combination of delightful weather, delightful friends and delightful doing, come as near to perfection as anything can come in this world." 
— Lucy Maud Montgomery (Anne's House of Dreams)

The Pleasant Home: No place for worry!

In Ohio there is a tombstone of a woman who died in 1888 at age 74 years and 8 months. Below her name and dates is reads, " She made home pleasant." I keep a photo of  this tombstone in my Bible as a bookmark. There are so many things that only God can do for our children, but with God's help I can give them a pleasant home.  I think of the Proverbs 31 woman, strong and dignified ( vs. 25), laughing at the days to come ( vs. 25) and  working with delight ( vs. 13). Worry was not part of her daily agenda! She was simply going about the things that were her job, doing them well, and not trying to do the things that belong to the Lord. Don't you know that the atmosphere benefited mightily from this?!

This week we sent our two ( very excited!) oldest children off on a mission trip.We didn't send them to remotest part of the world, but we still sent them away from us and out of our care. The pastor/friend who is going on the trip came up to me and jokingly said, "So, you are trusting us with the children you have invested the most in..." I didn't have time to answer him before someone else needed his attention, but in my heart I said, "They belong to the Lord, not me...always have, always will." This is harder to say at sometimes than at others, but it is always true. And as the mother of a couple of older children who are standing at the edge of the nest flapping their wings, I say these words to myself more often than ever.  The very hairs on their heads are numbered  (Luke 12:7) by the One who formed them in the first place, their days were written down by the Lord before one of them came to be ( Psalm 139:16), His hand will lead them and take hold of them where ever they are  (Psalm 139:7-10).  To the Lord I  say, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way."

Over the past few years the Lord has been doing a gradual work in my life, increasing daily joy and decreasing stress and worry. This has been independent of circumstances, which (excluding times of extreme crisis) are overall no better or worse that they were years ago. It has been a work of the heart: choosing joy, relinquishing control, resting in God's sovereignty.  Am I there yet? By no means, but there has been progress!  Our lives are singing something to our family and to a watching world...is it a song of stressful discord or a song of joy? Rest in the Lord, let His word do a good work in your heart each day,  and work with delight to make your home pleasant.


This post is linked to Our Simple Country Life, Far Above Rubies and Raising Homemakers.

Summer Routines

Summer is my favorite season.  Overall, I just feel better in the summer… more time outside in the sun, more time to linger in prayer and Bible study in the morning, more exercise, more sleep, more fresh veggies and fruits, more time to read, and more time to catch up with loved ones. And then there are the “fewers”….fewer demands on my time, fewer pressures, fewer aches and pains related to cold weather, fewer socks to washJ.  But there is one thing I sometimes miss in the summer and that is basic structure.  The school year provides us with a basic structure for each day.  There are places to be every Tuesday, times we have to be done with one thing so we can get the next thing done, specific times when chores are to be completed. Home schooling also provides guaranteed, built-in, personal interaction with each individual child. While I relish the break from “schedule”, I miss the “routine” of it all. 

This summer I have worked to divide our break from school into segments…recovery segment, catch-up segment, and preparation segment. The first few weeks were focused on wrapping up the past school year and resting.  I completed portfolios, did the necessary paper work, sorted books, and so on.  I also built in lots of free time for everyone…mom included! We all need some long days of reading, traveling, and playing, with minimal household tasks and chores.

 We are currently in the “catch-up segment” of our summer. This is the time of the summer when everyone seems to be craving a bit more structure. Each morning (after sleeping later than usual…ahhhh), I give everyone an assignment to help us “catch-up” on the tasks we often let slide during the school year.  This includes things like cleaning out closets and toys, washing drapes, cleaning behind the fridge (eek!), painting, and reorganizing.  We work on these tasks until lunch and then have our afternoons free for other things. 

Before we know it we will enter the “preparation segment” of summer. This is the exciting time when we get ready for the year ahead. Most of these tasks (but not all!) will fall my shoulders. The mornings will be spent doing tasks like ordering books, organizing materials, making games and activities for the younger students, composing reading lists, thinking about daily school routines, and getting extra meals in the freezer to help us as we ease back into a busier season of life.  Older children will be taking turns between assisting me and helping with the younger children. My goal is still to keep our afternoons free for the summer-time things we love to do…gardening, playing in the sprinkler, visiting the library, reading, playing with friends. While we savor those last wonderful days of summer, we know we have much to look forward to in the months ahead.  Yes, more socks to wash and a few more achy joints to deal with, but oh, that precious time gathered around the school table! I am looking forward to it even as I praise Him for this blessed season of sunshine and refreshment!

This post is linked to A Wise Woman Builds Her Home  Wise Woman Link-up and Homemaking Wednesdays. 

Embracing Chaos

Summer is my very favorite season.  Sunshine, afternoon showers, reading on the swing outside, gardening,  drying clothes on the line, letting the kids sleep a little bit later while I bask in the quiet early morning hours alone....ahhhh.  However, real life still happens, and at this stage of our family's life that equals a fair amont of chaos. Daily chaos. Hourly chaos. Lots and lots of little trials. Missing socks, conflicting schedules, broken cars, piles of wet towles, overdue library books, summer colds with wheezy nights, traffic that makes us late, stretched grocery budget, one mother with many tasks, children with many things to say...chaos is always there with us, keeping things from being easy and smooth. I am slowly learning to just relax into it and rejoice in spite of it all.  Chaos is better than bordome! God is making a good story out of our crazy little life. He is being glorified by putting us into situations where we can't get along without Him. The glory is His and not ours.

Living a Good Story in the Chaos  is my favorite read of the week.  Perhaps my favorite quote in the post is this,

"Part of me wonders if our stories aren’t being stolen by the easy life."  ~ D. Miller

If you face chaos today, rejoice in it! Don't let simplicity and ease be an idol in this earthly life, but  let Him stretch you and use all your trials to write a story that glorifies Him!

Choosing Beauty (a guest post by Michelle Zoppa)

   As a mother to two boys, making things beautiful does not always come to mind.  I once read where someone defined a boy as noise with dirt on him.  I had to chuckle because my two boys fit this description quite well.  In their everyday business, dirtiness, and loudness, beauty would seem to play no role.  However, choosing beauty in the midst of the mess is exactly where I am trying to be intentional.  

    Those mothers living with all males can easily say that taking time to create beauty will be wasted and unappreciated on our sons.  I am learning they need to be surrounded by beauty just as much as the females in our lives.  When I am defining beauty, I am not talking about creating a dainty, china doll like living area where boys have to be perfectly still and pastel colors rule the color pallet.  I am talking about surrounding boys with the beauty in which God created in our world and taking the time to point out the creativeness and originality of our Creator.  

    As a mother who wants to create life long memories for her sons, I have to be intentional about what I choose for them in all areas of their lives.  Which one will my sons remember more:  an afternoon of watching half hour segments of children's television shows or an afternoon spent in the mountains discovering a brown snake and splashing in the cold mountain streams of water?  Will another video game be on their lists of favorite childhood memories or the walks we took at the park playing "Pooh sticks" at every bridge we passed?  Will a snack out of a cardboard box dished out on a paper towel make their list or will Friday night pizza night with hot, buttered popcorn sprinkled with M&Ms all snuggled on the couch together more than likely come to mind?  

    Just because they are boys are we content to let them read any book from the library just to get them to read, or do we take the time to dig for classics and then take more time to read them aloud to share in the wonder of adventure stories together?  Do we settle for less for our sons just because they are often "noise with dirt on them?"  I love the quote from Gladys Hunt in Honey for a Child's Heart that says, "A young child, a fresh uncluttered mind, a world before him - to what treasures will you lead him?  With what will you furnish his spirit?"  

    As mothers, we must be intentional about our mothering.  The memories we create with our sons will last a lifetime.  Watching the sun fade into the night sky, listening to the sounds of birds outside our windows and trying to identify them in our bird book, chasing butterflies, remembering the day we tagged monarchs together, planting a garden, using the best pens, markers and paper to color and draw, singing and dancing together, decorating the house for Christmas, coloring Easter eggs - all these things add up to a lifetime of beauty.  They add up to a lifetime of sharing God's world and His creation with our sons who can then share them with his children.  

    Yes, it is often easier to let them sit in front of the television, play another video game or just ignore the mess, but the rewards of intentionally choosing beauty and participating in God's world far outweigh the inconvenience and extra work.  Choosing to point out the wonder our God has created for us allows our sons to get used to seeing, hearing, and tasting the best.  Not the best that money can buy but the best in terms of what God has freely given to us to enjoy.  Red juicy watermelon dripping from chins, soft vanilla ice cream melting down a cone, stars sparkling in the night sky, watching the first snowflakes of the year falling, listening to a mother sing a bedtime hymn or song just like she did when they were little - oh, those are the beautiful moments we must choose to invest in for our sons. 

 **** Michelle Zoppa is a wife, home schooling mother of two boys, and  author. Her Bible studies for boys and girls include An Honorable Boy, A Virtuous Girl, Increasing in Wisdom, and God's Armor: Suited for Life.  She has also written The Principal Thing Journals, Bringing the World to Life Geography series, and several history study guides. You may purchase her books at Queen Homeschool. I have know Michelle for 23 years (!) and am honored to call her my friend! ****

Precious Moments and Answered Prayers

Last week our oldest daughter showed our youngest daughter  how to make a cozy reading nook behind her bed.  My heart melted as I listened to her sweetly tell her little sister how,when she was eight years old, her bed was placed diagonally in a corner. She continued on, telling how she loved to keep a basket of books back in the corner so she could slip back there to read. The two of them set to work gathering a pillow, a book basket, and some reading material, chatting all the while about how they could decorate the wall space.     

 A few minutes later, the little sister decided to invite her younger brother to come into her cozy spot so she could read some Bible stories to him. And while those two were busy together, another older sister decided to bake pretzels so everyone could have a warm afternoon snack. 

I watched all of this with a thankful, humble heart. Not everyday is like this (believe me!), but on this day I saw it clearly...the "otherness" (as opposed to selfishness) that I so often pray for in my children's lives. Somehow, in this world of mixed up priorities, and under the influence of a quite imperfect mother, my girls had the initiative to reach out, to create, to share God's Word, to nurture others. God has been gracious beyond measure...to me, to them, to the world...in allowing us the grace to leave ourselves behind, even for the shortest of moments.  He hears our prayers, mothers! Take your worries,your questions, and your fears to Him. He is able to do what we cannot do!
Pray, and let God worry. -- Martin Luther

Taught By His Tumbles

"We all know the natural conditions under which a child should live; how he shares household ways with his mother, romps with his father, is teased by his brothers and petted by his sisters; is taught by his tumbles; learns self-denial by the baby's needs, the delightfulness of furniture by playing at battle and siege with sofa and table; learns veneration for the old by the visits of his great-grandmother; how to live with his equals by the chums he gathers round him; learns intimacy with animals from his dog and cat; delight in the fields where the buttercups grow and greater delight in the blackberry hedges." -Charlotte Mason


* Special thanks to Phyllis for posting this quote on her wonderful blog! (You will especially enjoy her blog is you are home schooling special needs students...I love seeing what they are up to in their home!)  I remember reading this quote years ago, and seeing it again inspired me to pull out some of my Charlotte Mason books again. Very encouraging and inspiring reading for moms and teachers!